I don't want to make this post too long but I would appreciate some feed back because I am having some serious doubts in my relationship and I don't really have many places to turn to without feeling cornered.
I love my girlfriend, we've only been going out for a few months but I have known her for at least four years now, she's had a lot of relationships on and off but this is our first relationship as a couple and it's my first relationship as a person, she's a bit older than me but I really do love her so much it hurts at times. I understand that she's somewhat manipulative and easily a spoiled brat at times but I love that aspect about her as well. Our relationship is also long distance but we keep each other sated with IM's, texts and voice messages.
1. At the start of the relationship, she had been following me around, doing sexual **** with me, treating me like a best friend at every waking moment of every single waking day. Now our relationship is just so much different. It's me waiting on her hands and feed, she's the one in control and at times, I just don't feel loved, at all. I'm not a mind reader, I can't see whats going on in her mind.
2. She hasn't been talking to me anywhere near as much as she used to. We're always saying lovey dovey things to each other but thats about it.
3. Sex-Drive: Hers has changed since the start of this relationship. I know she loves it but now she rarely brings the topic up at all and when I asked for it, I simply get a 'maybe'.
4. I have this sinking feeling that she's gotten bored of me. I don't know what she see's in me, at all. I really don't. She always prefers doing other things, with or without me, she also never does anything that I want her to do with me be it sex, recreational activities etc, that she would have otherwise done with me prior to the relationship.
5. Whenever I try taking control or talking to her openly about my feelings, I'm apparently pissing her off and putting her on guilt trips.
I don't know if I have changed or if she has changed and I don't really know how to confront her about it without trampling on her feelings and making her feel like ****. All I get is " ..... " as a response.
Sigh
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
It doesn't sound good, but don't let her drop you in pieces.
You are already unhappy. How much more unhappy could you be without her? My guess is you aren't crazy about being cast in such a submissive role, however it was created. She is now either taking you for granted, has found someone else or both.
i would give her a total ultimatum, but only if you are willing to carry it out. Work on the relationship or you walk.
It can't get much worse, so the risk is being unhappy with her, or in pain for a few weeks without her. i would take the short term hurt and get on with my life if i were you, but then only you can decide how much all this is worth.
You can't change her, but you can give her a choice to help you redefine the relationship or look for someone who has more respect for you, and then learn something from this. You don't have to be a slave to be loved.
You say:
"I don't really know how to confront her about it without trampling on her feelings and making her feel like ****. All I get is " ..... " as a response."
You're acting like the woman in this relationship, and yes indeed, she is getting bored of you. Believe me, you are not keeping her sated with IMs, texts, and voice messages. What exactly are you bringing to this relationship that would make her want to stick around? And why exactly are you sticking around? You say she pushes you around, she's not even close by, she's unresponsive, and you're not even getting laid?
You need to stop throwing yourself at her feet. No decent woman respects that.
Here's what you do: Go dark for a while. Don't call her, text her, or IM her. The key is to let her MISS you. And then if she does initiate contact (I say "if" on purpose), act like nothing's wrong. Give short, noncommittal responses, don't guilt trip, either. Make sure you let her know you're going out with a friend later, and don't give details.
I have a strong feeling she's getting some local action. Your best bet is probably to cut your losses and find some local action of your own. But grow some self-confidence in the meantime.
I was in a long distance relationship with a guy for about 2 years, off and on. Every time I acted like that, he knew I was starting to think about or see someone else. I hate to say it, Chris, but I think she's been thinking about someone else, and is maybe wanting YOU to break up with HER instead of making her feel guilty about it. It's not the fact that she doesn't love you anymore or anything. It's just really tough for a girl to be in a relationship where she rarely gets to see her boyfriend. I'm sorry, and I hope I'm wrong. Good luck!
holy crap that was long...try changing it up, don't be the lame guy with no confidence and the same boring sex moves. Also stand up and be a man, take charge once in a while instead of following around like a sad dog with your tail between your legs. Try taking her out to a nice dinner instead of going to mcdonalds and then expecting to get in her pants because you bought her a filet o fish. i know the guys are going to insist i turn in by balls for giving info like this but it might help you.
hmm well i personaly think that maybe shes doesnt like the distance relationship thing ..or maybe sometimes a girl needs a lil time alone for her self maybe u should just txt her or so on at night
you should talk to her,,